The Little Things I Didn’t Expect to Love About Motherhood...
The quiet, surprising joys of life with a 1.5-year-old
I have seen so many articles and posts about the challenges of motherhood. And there are many! But I wanted to contribute to the discourse with my favorite things about being a mom so far (my son is 1.5 years old), and I look forward to my list expanding in the future!
Contact naps: There is something so simple and delightful about being “nap-trapped”. My son only wanted to sleep on me for the first few months of his life, especially for naps and in the early morning stretches from 4am-6am when his sleep was lightest and he was most unhappy with his crib. I loved the proximity to all the up-close details of his face, so serene and relaxed. When they are a newborn and still very much an angry potato, there is nothing better than to see their first smiles while sleeping, as tiny smile whispers usually emerge in sleep before they start smiling while awake. Contact naps were also an amazing excuse moms can give themselves to just stop and rest without worrying about cooking, cleaning bottles, etc.
+2 Charisma: You get a charisma boost with a baby, which can be unsettling at first if you are an introvert like me. Holding a baby in public, especially in the South, is basically an invitation to socialize. It is so sweet, I have had people tell me stories about their kids or grandkids, comment on all of his features (“look at those blue eyes!”, and my favorite is when they gesture to their own “child” (who is now an adult and shaking their head in embarrassment) and say “That was her only yesterday!”. Even as an introvert I enjoy this increased socialization because it is a beautiful thing to connect with a stranger simply out of the shared enjoyment of proximity to a little one.
Perfect “excuse” to cancel: On the flipside, you can always use your baby as an excuse to cancel on a social event that you secretly do not want to go to. “Oh, Ellis is actually teething really badly today, we can’t make it!”. No one can rebuttal a baby-related excuse.
The random little things that make him happy: I love seeing my son go through phases of interests. His first obsession was the decorative turtle in out backward; “turtle” was actually his first word besides mama or dada that he said with intention. Then, he was obsessed with bubbles. Everything was a bubble, and everything had to revolve around bubbles and bubble related activities. Right now, he is really into dinosaurs, happily exclaiming “dio-saurs!” and growling at random. It is a treat to see every new, unexplainable, random interest that manifests and the discovery of a new one.
Healthy-by-proxy: Preparing meals for my son has improved our entire family’s eating habits. Ensuring he has a fruit, vegetable, protein, carb, etc. while I eat a cheeseburger feels hypocritical as well as extra effort on my part (having to prepare or acquire two meals). I also feel an overall sense of responsibility to take care of my body than before I was pregnant. I want to do everything I can to retain my mobility and health for my son’s sake as he gets older (and may have grandkids I would love to assist in caretaking for!)
Sleeping through the night: I don’t think I realized how much of myself would come back once he started sleeping. We lucked out in that he started to sleep through the night at around 5 months, and ever since has loved and welcomed sleep and his nighttime routine. (Bath, brush, story time). Ever since he started sleeping through the night and giving me more than 2 hours stretches of rest, it has unlocked the version of me that can laugh more easily, move my body, think clearly… it feels like getting reacquainted with someone I missed.
Letting Go of ‘Doing It the Right Way’: In the early days of becoming a mom I was obsessed with doing things perfectly for my son. My struggle with breastfeeding forced me to reevaluate if the decisions I was making were for my son’s best benefit or because of my ego? After that experience, I was able to realize that there are typically dozens of “healthy” choices mothers make that are informed by her finances, mental health, resources, etc., and there is never a “perfect” choice.
Watching his personality emerge in real time: It is surreal watching my son become more himself every week, what makes him laugh, what he insists on, what he loves. It feels less like raising him and more like getting to know him. So far, he has shown us he is tenacious, social, friendly, and he loooooves to eat.
Increasing my pediatric knowledge: Okay, this is a less universal aspect of motherhood, but I am an occupational therapist who specializes in adult rehab and lymphedema (so basically, I work with mostly old people). I always said I did not want to work anywhere near pediatrics, but honestly, having my son and tracking and observing his developmental milestones in real time has been so interesting. He has gross motor delay caused by a mild cerebral palsy diagnosis (he has only started tentatively walking at 18 months), so I have had to learn interventions and techniques I would have otherwise not been exposed to without this experience with him.
Seeing my son's relationship with our cats: My son Ellis has always been obsessed with our cats Rei and Clyde ever since he became aware of them. On the other end, they are still deciding what they think of the little intruder. But it truely is so rewarding seeing them restrain themselves from batting him in the face (haha) and stare at our son with the same awe we do. Don't get me wrong, it has been challenging dealing with both a baby and animals. They have definitely felt that our priorities have shifted from our “fur babies”, and we are still working on balancing those scales out. But I cannot help but notice that they gravitate to whatever room Ellis has taken up shop in.
Well, there is my list so far. Let me know if you have any specific things about motherhood or fatherhood that you love. And if you are pregnant or want children in the future, you have so much to look forward to. <3
